Stephen Elliott Gets the Kinks Out

As I was preparing for the relaunch of Beatrice, Stephen Elliott was kind enough to let me print the introduction to his new collection of eleven linked stories, My Girlfriend Comes to the City and Beats Me Up.

This could have been a memoir. It isn’t. Most of it is true. This could be a sexual memoir. Ultimately, I made the poor marketing choice to call this a book of stories because there were too many things I knowingly made up. With the exception of “Early In Our Relationship,” “My Stripper Year,” and “Just Always Be Good,” which were originally published as non-fiction, nearly every story has already been published as fiction. Real life does not always finish as neatly as fiction. Also, as I say in “I’ll Love You Back,” I didn’t want to be responsible for the truth of my recollections.

But the reason I am admitting here to the general, if not complete, truth of this book, is because I believe in being open about sexuality. Recently there has been a rash of crackdowns on practitioners of consensual sadomasochism. Our president, who sanctions torture all over the world, who threatens to veto bills banning the American military from torture, has initiated a war at home on people who like to tie and hurt each other in the privacy of their own bedrooms. In response to the Department of Justice crackdown on SM websites many sex educators have taken down their pages. The result is that people who are just beginning their explorations in the world of Bondage and Discipline are going to find good information advocating safe and consensual play harder to find. When that happens beginners are more likely to play without safe words, to engage in dangerous activities, like cutting and asphyxiation, with partners who are not properly trained. And people are going to continue to live unhappy and ashamed of their desires when they could be leading satisfying and passionate lives.

It is in the best interests of everyone for more people to be open about their sexual desires. More pride flags need to be displayed on porches and windows and tattoos. As kinky people we need to talk to our non-kinky friends about our desires. We can’t wait for the approval of others; we must force them to accept us. We will never have political power until we let the politicians know that we are not ashamed.

With that in mind I take responsibility for these stories, for every sexual act depicted, many of which occurred when I was younger, before I made the effort to acquire the information I needed. I acquired scars instead. This is not a memoir, but it’s damn close. And I’m OK with that. And I’m OK with you knowing that.

2 October 2006 | guest authors, uncategorized |