I'm Writing as Fast as I Can

Boston Globe columnist Alex Beam broods about all those writers outpacing him, and decides they must be on drugs. The not-so-funny attempt at humor starts off with a retread of the attacks on Lance Armstrong and goes steadily downhill from there. Wonkette already spotted the best line in the piece, a sarcastic response from David Brooks, who isn't even all that prolific:

"I would explain my high productivity by my desperate loneliness and my pathetic sadness that causes me work to extreme lengths to fill the hollow void that is my life."